This is getting ridiculous

The team is at the hotel in Clinton, Iowa. Watching it rain. There have also been a few flashes of lightning. Yes, lightning. Not enough to bring Brick around, but enough for me to pop in an say this is ridiculous.

REE-GOSH-DARN-DIC-YOU-LUSSS!

That is all.

Your nightly weather post

Hi, folks. I'm Telemachus, the Tarping Tapir. Just letting you know that the tarp is on the field at Time Warner Cable Field. Since this is the only time that Bowling Green...I mean...Dayton...Since this is the only time that Dayton is in town, every effort will be made to get in the game tonight.

Check back here, facebook, and/or twitter for details.


Pardon my mild oath! I, Carl, the Rain Hating Camel do not like this weather one bit. It is raining and there are two hours to game time. Come on! I'll bet that it rained like twice when the Timber Rattlers were out of town.

I really want to see the Timber Rattlers play tonight....It's the first home game...um, Friday night home game...yeah, Friday night home game in over two weeks.

You may be getting a sense of deja vu reading this post.

Because the grounds crew asked

I really didn't think that I would be needed today, but the fine fellows on the grounds crew requested my services.

Fine.

I hate the rain. I do not want the rain. I want to watch baseball today.

So, I hope this helps.

What the heck is going on?

Pardon my mild oath! I, Carl, the Rain Hating Camel do not like this weather one bit. It is raining and there are two hours to game time. Come on! I'll bet that it rained like twice when the Timber Rattlers were out of town.

I really want to see the Timber Rattlers play tonight. It's the first home game in over two weeks.

Stay tuned.

Meet a couple members of the cast

Many of you regular readers know these guys. Consider this an introduction for the new people.

This is Carl, the rain-hating camel.


This is Brick, the bad weather hating bactrian


This is Telemachus, the tarping tapir.


This is Fairfax, the field conditions ferrett.


They haven't been around much and -- to tell the truth -- they really don't want to be around that much.

But, right now, it's raining, the tarp is on the field, and the field is pretty wet. Brick is around to try to keep those thunderstorms away.

Fan Fest is still on for a noon start. Stay tuned either here or to http://www.twitter.com/timberrattlers for updates.

For you new readers, consider these guys as a code. The readers who have been around for awhile already know this, but click your and drag your cursor from left to right on the space below to find out the secret behind the secret to the code.


Mehring is crazy.

Haven't needed me in a while

Greetings, Timber Rattlers fans. It is I, Carl, the rain-hating camel. It has been drier than one of Mehring's martinis around here, but I stand ever at the ready to burst in and stand athwart the rain yelling, "STOP!"

Do not fear. Telemachus has informed me that the tarp is on the field...just in time, too, he adds.

This shall pass and tonight's game shall go on as planned so that the glorious march into the single season attendance record may continue.

July 28, 2009: Weather Update

The tarp is on the field. The tarp is on the field.

This is Telemachus the Tarping Tapir and reporting from Fort Wayne, the tarp is on the field!


And I am Carl the Rain Hating Camel to report that it is now raining in Fort Wayne. I hate that. I know that both teams could use the day off today. The Rattlers arrived in Fort Wayne at 4:30am and the TinCaps arrived from Burlington at 7:00am.

But, with an 11am game tomorrow and a night game on Thursday, a doubleheader just just doesn't fit into the equation.


Brick the Bad Weather Hating Bactrian here. Just heard some thunder and saw some lightning. "They" are calling for this tonight. I hate "them" and I hate "this". Hope is for losers like Carl up there, but to borrow a phrase from him, I hope this moves through in a &*#%$! hurry. Okay. I may have added that &*#%$! to his phrase.

Stay tuned.

Didn't want to do this...

It's wetter than Dagobah out there right now...But, hang in there. The game is still on.

If there are any changes, Brick will let you know.

Greetings on a...grrrrr, rainy Friday morning in Cedar Rapids

Greetings, Timber Rattler fans.

Why is it whenever Mehring is late with posting, he sends me out with excuses. Oh, and it is raining in Cedar Rapids now, too. Let's see they said 40% chance in the morning and 75% chance at game time.

Oh, well. Nothing to do, but be prepared to play tonight. AND hate the rain!

Mehring had to finish his column for the Sports Bubbler. It should be up in about an hour. If you are a fan of The Smithereens, it will be worth a click over that way.

If you have no idea who The Smithereens are, click over there and try to figure out why Mehring would pick a semi-obscure band to wrap up the column. I am still trying to figure it out.

There is no late checkout room for Mehring today, so he is hurriedly throwing stuff into his duffle bag to pack while trying to make sure he isn't leaving anything behind. He may be updating the blog from the hotel lobby in a couple of hours.

Courage.

Brick checks in

Rain last night. Not good. Rain today. Not good. Rain, wind, and severe thunderstorms forecast for tonight...Well, that's a bit much for Brick.

Brick's therapist...yes, camels can have therapists...thinks that it is best to focus my rage at the weather, meteorologists, slow service at a restaurant, cable channels that don't work in hotels, PA announcers that give the wrong time to start games, vending machines that are only on the first floor of a hotel, ...

Sorry, where was Brick? Focus! Right! It is best to focus my rage into the ancient Japanese art of Haiku. So,

Hard rain falls today.
Green on radar is a shade,
That brings great anger.

or

Doubleheader on schedule.
Ugly forecast threatens all.
Roudha, this sure blows.

or

Raindrops keep falling
on my humps and they are wet.
Who will stop the rain?

or

Will we play today?
There is always this thing, hope
Hope in one hand and cra....

Greetings, Rattler fans. Carl, the rain-hating camel here. Brick was getting a little...let's just say too much. Stay tuned to Rattler Radio for updates on the weather and the status of the games today. The team will be at the ballpark around 2:15pm and the first game is scheduled for 5:35pm.

Oh, and Mehring wanted me to pass along some actual news.

The Rattlers will be staying on rotation if we play today. That means:

Efrain Nieves and Cody Scarpetta in game one. Trey Watten in game two.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go get some microwavve popcorn for Brick. That is one of the few things that actually calms him down.

Carl says hello

Greetings, Timber Rattler fans. Carl, the rain-hating camel here. Yes, it's raining. Yes, I hate it. Yes, Mehring said he had to do some "other things" today. Like what, I wonder?

Yes, I have graciously decided to step in for the morning posting. But, I do not have a lot of time. So,

Last night's Timber Rattler game story:

"No question," said Rattlers manager Jeff Isom, when asked if he was showing what the Brewers saw in him. "You're looking at a first-year kid, didn't even have a professional at-bat until the start of this season and he's hitting over .300 right now, has four home runs and leading our team in RBIs. That's what we've expected out of him.

Last night's Midwest League Scoreboard

Last night's scores in the Brewer System from Bernie's Crew

Oh, and the Brewers beat the Pirates...again.

Good weather to you all.

Meet Carl

Greetings, baseball fans. I understand that some of you may be new to Rattler Radio. Because of that, you may be unfamiliar with the figments of Mehring's imagi...er...with some of the guest bloggers who pop up occasionally.

My name is Carl, the Rain-Hating Camel. I usually post when there is rain in the forecast for Timber Rattler games. As it says in my name, I hate rain, especially when it interferes with my enjoyment of a baseball game.

You see, there is a superstition that Mehring picked up somewhere (who can tell? He is mad -- actually quite mad). There is a superstition that the appearance of a camel will keep the rain away. He has stats: 60% of the time it works every time.

The Timber Rattlers don't need me for another five or six months, but my camel sense picked up the possibility of rain in Philadelphia tonight. I really want to watch Game Three and can do without the postponement. I even rummaged through the boxes in the carport of the trailer to find the directional antenna that will allow me to pick up the Fox station out of Green Bay. You see, the Fox channel isn't on the cable system because....What? Oh, leaving that one alone for now? Very well.

Anyway with all of the effort, I would hate for the rain to wash out Game Three. So, that's what I'm doing here...956 miles from Philadelphia.

Change in the starter tonight

Greetings, Timber Rattler fans. Carl, the rain hating camel here. Two reasons.

A.) Juan Ramirez is getting the start for the Rattlers against the Silver Hawks tonight. He is only scheduled to go one inning. Then, Keith Renaud will take over.

2.) It hasn't rained yet. And it looks like the storm headed for the Fox Cities area is breaking up. Stay away, stupid rain.

Welcome back

Greetings, Rattler fans. The Rattlers are back in town. It is raining...Nay, storming right now. But, the weather will clear out and there will hopefully be baseball tonight. Hopefully.

Now. To the day of posting.

This bites

Hey, Brick here. Bad weather. Brick post. Blah, blah, blah. Brick hates bad weather. Brick wants to smash something breakable. Brick swears, by the camel god Roudha, this has become cliche.

First things first. Mehring has been playing catch up with a few things and was unable to get to, well frankly, much of anything this morning. There is a hope for baseball once this line of weather moves through.

There is a line of thinking that bugs Brick. "I hope this happens, then this will happen."

Let Brick tell you something from Brick's Book of Personal Philosophy: Anytime hope is part of a plan, you are basically screwed. Because you may as well hope that pixies will come along with a bag of magic.....

Greetings, gentle readers. Carl, the rain-hating camel, here. Don't worry about Brick. Brick certainly never worries about Brick. Remember, there is always another oasis on the horizon. You just have to keep going until you make it to the next one.

What a load of cr....



SILENCE!

Sorry about that, folks. Brick does tend to get on one's nerves, no? Anyway. I'm off to sacrifice to Roudha. Sometimes you just need to make your own hope.

I'm gonna try

Greetings, Rattler fans. Carl, the Rain Hating Camel, here. I'm going to hate the rain like I've never hated it before and we'll just see what happens.


I may need to call Brick in on this one today.

I didn't want to be back yet

Greetings, Timber Rattler fans. Carl, the Rain-hating Camel here.

I had plans today. But, the cursed weather has taken a turn. Now, I have to cancel my afternoon plans. That's okay, though. The Timber Rattler pitchers are about to take batting practice. I'm just going to park myself out on the Miller High Life Home Run Porch and see if any of them can hit a souvenir to me.

I was planning on coming out to the game for a 'Bang for Your Buck' night anyway. So I'll just be spending more time at the ballpark than I would have. Hope to see you tonight.

How does the weather affect

Greetings, Rattler fans. Carl, the Rain Hating Camel here. When I am not obsessing about precipitation forcing cancellations of Timber Rattler games, I surf the web in search of stories about rain and baseball. Well, I found this one in The Burlington Hawkeye has this story about the Bees, the weather, and Honor Roll Day at Community Field.

Thursday was going to be one of those packed-house days. It was Honor Roll Day, and once again, the grandstands would be crammed with school kids.

"They took the rain out of the forecast," Brockett said, smiling. "It's supposed to be a nice day."

***

The rain started falling at about 11 a.m. Thursday. The National Weather Service radar showed a mass of rain to the west, a dark-green blob with specks of yellow, moving toward Burlington.

Brockett and his staff knew what was coming. But the kids had started to arrive.

"We figured, let's get them in, get them lunch, and then see what happens," Brockett said.

Some of the kids were underneath the canopy behind home plate, and out of the rain. The rest of them weren't under cover, and had to sit in the light rain.

That was the problem. It was a light rain, not enough to keep the game from being played, but enough to make things miserable.

There is a happy ending to this story, but it is after this explanation for why sometimes games are played in less than ideal conditions.

Minor league baseball is about player development, which means if a game can be played, it's going to be played.

But it also comes with a financial cost to the franchises. Nights of inclement weather mean no one is buying tickets, no one is buying a hot dog and a beer.

That's why days like Thursday are important to small-market teams like Burlington. Fans in the seats means someone is buying food and drinks. Someone is spending money.

Brockett and his staff kept an eye on the weather radar as the game started. There was a big yellow blob of a storm coming toward Burlington.

Then something happened. The blob broke in half. One half went north of the city, one half went south.

It quit raining at Community Field right around the time the first pitch was thrown at 11:34 a.m.

In closing, Udo delenda est!

Bet you didn't expect me on the road

Greetings, Timber Rattler fans. Carl, the Rain-Hating Camel, here. I thought that I might just pop in to see a game in Cedar Rapids tonight, but the tarp is on the field. If I may borrow a rather vulgar phrase from my colleague Brick, This blows.

Rain is bad and I hate it. But, I really hate rain on the last day of a series, especially if this happens to be the last meeting of a half between the teams. You have to sit around and wait and wait and wait and wait.

Mehring still tells the story about 2002 in Dayton where the Rattlers sat around for three hours before finally starting a game after 10:00pm. I'm pretty sick of him telling it, but you try telling him to stop.

Anyway. Just thought that I'd pop in here to say hi and tell the rain to go away. There is a green blob on the radar to the west of CR, but I am confident that it will pass and there will be baseball tonight. If not, well, rain will make my list again.

Good baseball to you.

Point-Counterpoint with Camels

Rattler Radio begins a new feature today. Our very own meteorological ungulates have been asked to take opposite sides in a completely contrived topic that may or may not be of interest to anyone. Facts are not welcome here.

Today's topic: Apples vs. Oranges

A+ for Apples by Carl, the Rain-Hating Camel

Greetings, Rattler Radio readers. There is nothing I like more that sinking my teeth into a nice, crunchy -- yet, juicy -- apple. It doesn't matter if it's a Red Delicious, McIntosh, Gala, Cortland, Granny Smith, Golden Delicious, or any of the other amazing varieties of that sweet fruit. Turn me loose in an orchard any day of the week and twice on Wednesday. Apples are good tasting and good for you.

Oranges? Don't make me laugh. Ever hear of Mom's Home-made Orange Pie? What kind of America Hater doesn't like Apple Pie? Brick, that's who.

Orange Juice? Blech. There is more pulp in a paper mill than in a glass of that stuff. Now, a good glass of Apple Juice. Refreshing.

Orange Peels? Nothing like making it almost impossible to get to the actual edible part of the fruit. Apples? Ready to eat right off the tree.

Apples are also a food of the people. Johnny Appleseed made his way throughout the Midwest planting Apple trees wherever he went. Orange groves are off in some distant location on the fringes of the country. You may as well get a banana.

It's not 'An orange a day' that keeps the doctor away. Apples help you live longer. Oranges will kill you. It's not me saying this...It's science!

In closing, no child ever presented a teacher with an orange. Think of the children, they could teach us a few things about life and the proper selection of a terrific


Orange You Glad for Oranges by Brick the Bad Weather-Hating Bactrian

Has there ever been a more perfect delivery system of Vitamin C than the Orange? Brick didn't think so.

Apples are, quite simply, evil. What fruit did the serpent get Adam and Eve to eat in the Garden of Eden? Kiwi? Peach? No, it started with an 'A'...Avocado? No! Wait! Apple! That's it! And you remember who the serpent was?....That's right...The Devil. Enjoy the official fruit of Hell, Carl.

You can count on Brick's humps the number of things that Brick likes, but the clean, citrusy smell of an orange is one of those things.

And what's wrong with a little work to get at something as tasty as an Orange? Nothing. Plus, try this little experiment. If you can stomach it, take a few bites out of an apple. Then, peel an orange and have a few slices, if you can stop at a few. Walk away and come back in a few minutes. Which one of those fruits is starting to turn a little brown? That's right. The devil's fruit.

Apples corrupt the young. Children use Apples as a gift for teachers? Try Bribe for the teacher and you'll be a little closer to the truth.

Speaking of truth, the only time an apple is somewhat good is when it is not in its original form. Coated in caramel, baked in a pie, squashed into juice, or mixed into a butter. Somewhat palatable, yet, still from the same evil produce.

One orange and all its vitamin goodness have done more to combat disease and starvation than the demon red fruit.

In closing, Apples, bad. Oranges, good.

Thank you, Carl. Thank you, Brick. Insightful and vengeful points all around.

Oddly, as video proof of both their points of view, Carl and Brick both submitted this 1975 Sunkist orange television commercial.



Tune in next time for another edition of Point-Counterpoint with Camels.