Whitecaps defy White House

or something like that. What do you expect when the headline in the Grand Rapids Press looks like this?

Michelle Obama's obesity initiative versus the Whitecaps' Declaration of Indigestion: Who wins?

Before getting to far into this story one of the questions you are probably asking is..."Declaration of Indigestion?" Which really isn't a question. It's more of three words with a question mark stuck on the end.

The Declaration of Indigestion is: A foot-long hot dog somthered [sic] in Philly cheese steak, cheese, peppers and onions and served on a gigantic sub roll. Click the link for a picture of a man eating the latest convention breaking food item of the Whitecaps.

TO THE COLUMN by Troy Reimink which is filed under the word 'Outrage'. No. Seriously.

The West Michigan Whitecaps are letting fans decide which ridiculously unhealthy new items will join the Fifth Third Burger on their concessions menu for the upcoming season.

In vaguely related news, First Lady Michelle Obama on Tuesday announced she would lead a nationwide effort to combat childhood obesity in partnership with public health officials and private organizations. One can only assume that list of partners will not include the Whitecaps.

Let's have some fun, shall we? Here's some text from the CNN story on Obama's announcement juxtaposed with descriptions of Fifth Third Ballpark food contenders. See if you can guess which is which.

Why do I have a feeling that Mr. Reimink's idea of fun is different from my idea of fun?

Click through if you want to kill that little smile that you thought about having today.

Look at me! Look at me!

That's is exactly what I thought when I saw this item.

Susan Levin, a staff dietitian for the Washington-based Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, sent a letter to the Grand Rapids minor-league team on Tuesday. She's asking that the 4,800-calorie burger be labeled a "dietary disaster" that increases the risk of cancer and heart disease.

Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine is a vegan advocacy group or something. No link because they are already getting more attention than they deserve.

My thoughts...with bullet points to make it seem more thoughtful:

• Does something like the Fifth Third Burger really need a warning label? I'm an adult and I know exactly what I am getting into by ordering one.

• I'm not trying to convert Vegans to become Carnivores who eat yummy, delicious, grilled animals. I don't think you're going to convince me with press releases, direct action, or, well, anything to tell the absolute truth.
  

• Are there anymore Famous Dave's ribs or BBQ chicked in the conference room? Lunch was catered in today.