The Unnatural

This week's Baseball on TV post heads off the beaten path because The Truth is Out There.

The Unnatural is a sixth season episode of The X-Files.

Here is the summary from tv.com:

Mulder meets with Agent Arthur Dales' brother (also named Arthur!) and is told a tale of a talented negro baseball player from Roswell, New Mexico in the 1940's who may have been an alien that ran away from his colony because of his love for the game.

During the episode, we get the opinions of both Mulder and Scully about baseball boxscores:

Mulder: I'm reading the box scores, Scully. You'd like it. It's like the Pythagorean Theorem for jocks. It distills all the chaos and action of any game in the history of all baseball games into one tiny, perfect, rectangular sequence of numbers. I can look at this box and I can recreate exactly what happened on some sunny summer day back in 1947. It's like the numbers talk to me, they comfort me. They tell me that even though lots of things can change some things do remain the same. It's . . .

Scully: Boring.

The story is told in flashback from the point of view of Arthur Dales, a Rosewell, New Mexico police officer.

Josh Exley, is playing for the Roswell Grays* in the Cactus league and is more than happy to be doing that:

Catcher: "Hey, Ex. I heard the Yankees have been calling you."

Josh Exley: "I'm fine playing here in the Cactus leagues. It's nice and quiet." [The next pitch bounces off a much-abused cactus]

Umpire: "Ball!" [to Moose] "Leave the cactus alone, son!"

Catcher: "Gee, I don't know, Ex. The Yanks could use those 60 home runs a year. Well, now that, uh, Jackie Robinson's up there in the Bigs, people are saying you're going to be next. The first black Negro man of colour in the American League. Shoot, Ex, you'll be famous, man."

Josh Exley: "I don't want to be no famous man. Just want to be a man."**

Seems there is a threat on Exley's life and Dales is put in charge of protecting the baseball star.

As the episode continues, the policeman begins looking into Exley's background:

Officer: [answering phone] "Macon police department. Can I help you?"

Officer Dales: "Yeah, my name's Arthur Dales. I'm with the Roswell Police Department. I'm doing a background check on a gentleman I believe is from your area. His name is Josh Exley."

Officer: "You want information on a Josh Exley?" [He hands the phone to another man]

Bounty Hunter: "Yeah, name rings a bell. Yeah, I got a Josh Exley. A six-year-old coloured boy disappeared oh, maybe five years ago. Now do you got a read on this Josh Exley's whereabouts?"

Officer Dales: "Six years old?"**

Then, Exley (played by Law & Order start Jesse L. Martin) reveals hiself and his secret to Officer Dales to protect himself from the Alien Bounty Hunter.

Grey Alien: "This is ridiculous. You're supposed to be a big, bad policeman." [Officer Dales gasps in panic] "Now, hold up, Arthur. Now, before you go fainting again, listen to me. It's me, Arthur. It's Ex."

Officer Dales: "This is an interesting dream. Wake up. Come on, Artie."

Grey Alien: "Man, you ain't dreaming. This is what I really look like. This is the real me."

Officer Dales: "Ex? It's really you under there, Ex?" [He begins touching the alien face, poking around the lip and nose. Josh Exley puts up with it for a moment, then reaches over and sticks his finger up Officer Dales nose] "Ow!"

Grey Alien: "I ain't under anything, Arthur, and I'm trying not to be insulted by your reaction to my true face. Look, would it be easier if I looked like this?" [He morphs into a beautiful woman and climbs onto Officer Dales lap] "Would this be easier for you to handle?"

Officer Dales: "Mmm... No. Somehow, that's even weirder."**

Why would an alien take up baseball?

Josh Exley: "See, there's something you got to understand about my race. We don't have a word for laughter. We don't laugh. I don't know if you noticed in between all that fainting you was doing, but we have very tiny mouths, so no smiling even."

Officer Dales: "Wow."

Josh Exley: "But I tell you, when I saw that baseball game being played this laughter just... it just rose up out of me. You know, the sound the ball makes when it hits the bat?"

Officer Dales: "Yeah."

Josh Exley: "It was like music to me. You know, the smell of the grass, 11 men — first unnecessary thing I ever done in my life and I fell in love. I didn't know the unnecessary could feel so good. You know, the game was meaningless but it seemed to mean everything to me. It was... useless, but perfect."**

Yeah. That sounds about right.

Of course, this being The X-Files, there is no proof of aliens or conspiracy or much of anything at the end of the episode. But, there is this scene that is one of my favorites in the entire run of the series. Thanks to whomever put this up on Youtube.com.


Great episode of a great show.

*-A take on both the Homestead Grays of the Negro League and the Greys that are part of UFO and Alien mythology.

**-These quotes are taken from Red Wolf's X-Files Episode Guide.