152 Days to Opening Day 2008

Opening Day 2008 for the Timber Rattlers is April 3. That is 152 days from today. This off-season, the countdown will be based on books. Each day between now and Opening Day 2008, I will pick a random book out of my library and excerpt a passage off the page number corresponding with the number of days remaining to the first pitch of the new season. I will try not to repeat a book during the countdown.

Today’s book is Holidays in Hell by PJ O’Rourke. This book is a series of essays by O’Rourke with titles like: What Do They Do for Fun I Warsaw?; Christmas in El Salvador; Through Darkest America: Epcot Center; and Thirty-six Hours in Managua – An In-depth Report.

The excerpt is from page 152 and is from the chapter Intellectual Wilderness, Ho – A Visit to Harvard’s 350^th Anniversary Celebration.

There was a modern-dance performance that night called “Gym Transit”—part of Radcliffe College’s contribution to the 350^th festivities. The Program notes it as “celebrating the art of sport and dance.” I admire phrases like this with a whole bunch of concepts that, if you have a Harvard education, you can just jumble together any old way. I’ll bet “Gym Transit” could also be described as “dancing the celebration of art and sport” or “sporting the dance of celebration art” or making an art of sport dance celebration.” It was hard to pass this up, but after six drinks I managed.

The next morning was the great Foundation Day convocation, which President Reagan wasn’t addressing. You may remember the press flap. Harvard wanted the president to give a 350^th birthday speech as Franklin Roosevelt had done at the 300^th and Grover Cleveland at the 250^th. But Harvard didn’t want to give the president an honorary degree. I guess they Reagan was a nice man and, no doubt, important in his own way, but not quite Harvard material. Once again they’re right. Ron would have dozed off during “Gym Transit” even quicker than I. So the president, God bless him, told Harvard to **** up a rope. And Harvard had to go shopping for someone else. I’m sure they were looking for a person who embodied democratic spirit, intellectual excellence and the American ethos, which is why they picked Prince Charles.

Put today’s entry into a baseball context.