Early candidate for Headline of the Year

When a story has a headline like this and it has a tie-in to a Midwest League team, you just know Rattler Radio will be there.

Cardboard heroes repel bird droppings

Andrew Ottmar crunched along the frosty Fifth Third Field outfield, avoiding goose droppings as he advanced on a sentinel coyote.

"It's like a piece of rubber," said Ottmar, the Dayton Dragons director of operations said while bending over to readjust the fake coyote torso.

He grabbed the similarly fabricated rabbit that was in the coyote's mouth.

"You don't really need this," he said. "We thought it looked more real."

To geese, the rubber coyote, his furry prey and their cardboard friends are real enough.

Last week, Dragons personnel installed several decoy animals throughout the infield and outfield to displace geese that periodically sat in the downtown stadium and used it as a restroom.

Since then, geese sightings have drastically reduced.

I can see why....Can I just mention that Geese are stupid? Geese are stupid. There I said it.