Gee, do ya think?

Cobb bless the Omaha World-Herald for trying to squeeze a story out of absolutely nothing. I'll start with the headline:

Chicago Cubs Sale: Omaha affiliate unlikely

Does a new baseball stadium plus apparent strong local ties to the Chicago Cubs equal a Cubs farm team moving to Omaha?

It's an equation that doesn't add up — at least not in the near future.

One reason is obvious: The Ricketts family of Omaha is in position to buy the Chicago Cubs, not the Iowa Cubs, which has separate ownership. Another has to do with player development contracts, which tie major league teams to minor league affiliates. Major league teams provide minor league teams with their players during the length of the contracts.

A third reason has to do with territorial rights.

And they would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling territorial rights.

Wait....Territorial rights? You keep using that word and I don't think that means what you think it means.

In Omaha, there is a contract between the Omaha Royals and Kansas City Royals that expires after the 2010 season. The Chicago Cubs are bound with the Iowa Cubs, located in Des Moines, through 2012.

"We're extraordinarily happy with our relationship with the Kansas City Royals," said Omaha Royals President Alan Stein, who is negotiating with Sarpy County to build a new ballpark there.

Ah, the term you were looking for is Player Development Contract.

The Iowa franchise, which has been affiliated with Chicago since 1982, has been successful in undergoing a near-total makeover of its stadium in recent years and consistently posts higher attendance figures than the Omaha Royals. The Cubs' average attendance last year was nearly 7,400 a game. The Omaha Royals' paid attendance averaged close to 5,400 people a game.

Owner Michael Gartner of Des Moines has not considered selling the team since purchasing it in 1999, said Sam Bernabe, I-Cubs president and general manager.

Are the I-Cubs looking to move to Omaha?

"If this is a serious question, then I can't really comment on it because it would be an infringement on the Omaha Royals," Bernabe said.

By rule, major- and minor-league personnel are not allowed to comment directly on their player development contracts, other than in a 30-day window near the expiration of the current contract.

Also, by rule, when major- and minor-league personnel answer questions with the phrase, "If this is a serious question..." they think that the question being asked, you know, not serious.

Kind of like this section....

Still, speculation around Omaha isn't likely to die easily.

The Ricketts family is negotiating to buy the big league Cubs, Wrigley Field and a 25 percent stake in Comcast SportsNet. Sources have put the value of the bid at about $900 million.

Omaha's new downtown stadium could bear the name of the business Joe Ricketts started, TD Ameritrade. Joe Moglia, chief executive officer of TD Ameritrade, confirmed to The World-Herald in June that he hopes to gain naming rights to the new ballpark.

Also, Jim Hendry, the Chicago Cubs' general manager, is a former Creighton baseball coach. Oneri Fleita, the team's director of minor league operations, is a former Creighton player. Those typically are the positions within an organization with the most influence on the placement of its minor league affiliates, and those two have been at their posts for several years.

I KNEW IT! The Masons, the Council on Foreign Relations, Skull and Bones, and Creighton! It all ties together!

Neither immediately returned phone calls.

Keep calling. I'm sure they will get right back to you.

What? It doesn't end there? Bring it.

But what about another Chicago Cubs affiliate moving to Omaha? They are Class AA Tennessee (near Knoxville) of the Southern League, high Class A Daytona of the Florida State League, low Class A Peoria (Ill.) of the Midwest League, Boise (Idaho) of the short season Class A Northwest League and the rookie-level affiliate in the Arizona League, which plays at the team's spring training complex.

All of those teams play in leagues that are set up for overnight travel, typically by bus, unlike the PCL, which uses air travel more extensively than any other minor leagues. Shifting a lower-level Cubs affiliate to Omaha would require approval of the leagues and their franchises, which would be leery of the travel distance and added expenses. The closest league with a Cubs affiliate is the Midwest, but its closest team is in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and that league has moved more south and east with its latest franchise changes. The Midwest League has recently said it hadn't even considered placing a team in Omaha.

Again, those leagues wouldn't be allowed to move in until the Royals move out.

Which brings the discussion back to the Iowa Cubs.

Which is where it all ended earlier in the article with that two paragraph section that went:

In Omaha, there is a contract between the Omaha Royals and Kansas City Royals that expires after the 2010 season. The Chicago Cubs are bound with the Iowa Cubs, located in Des Moines, through 2012.

"We're extraordinarily happy with our relationship with the Kansas City Royals," said Omaha Royals President Alan Stein, who is negotiating with Sarpy County to build a new ballpark there.

Gotta admire the spunk, I guess.