2/24/2008

39 Days to Opening Day

Opening Day 2008 for the Timber Rattlers is April 3. That is 39 days from today. This off-season, the countdown will be based on books. Each day between now and Opening Day 2008, I will pick a random book out of my library and excerpt a passage off the page number corresponding with the number of days remaining to the first pitch of the new season. I will try not to repeat a book during the countdown.

Today’s book is Modern Manners: An Etiquette for Rude People by PJ O’Rourke. This part is from Making Famous People Comfortable.

When the famous person you’ve met is not in your immediate company, ignore him or her completely. This is the modern use of the “cut direct” mentioned in Chapter 3. Whereas, in former times, the cut direct was used on enemies, it has now evolved into a polite way to show respect for famous friends. It is an article of faith among celebrities that they are constantly pestered by the public. Of course there are so many celebrities, and so few of them are celebrated for anything, that most of the time the public can’t be bothered. But it’s only common courtesy to act as though the famous people you know are so famous that the public is very bothered indeed. You don’t want to be seen as part of that public. Wait for the celebrities to pester you. They will soon enough. If they weren’t infantile self-obsessed hogs for attention, then our kind of society never would have thought they were important in the first place.

Put today’s excerpt in a baseball context.

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