Every Spring Training Story in one post

Jeff at Lookout Landing has an hilarious post titled I Hate Spring Training and he didn't have to write a thing.

Here is just the start. Keep in mind that five of the next six paragraphs are from different stories on different websites about different players on different teams. I've differentiated them by alternating italicized text (look who read his thesaurus this morning):

PHOENIX -- Rich Harden reported ship-shape, 100 percent, raring to go. He says he is prepared to put in the full season his injuries have prevented him from doing the past three years.

Molina arrived at spring training Wednesday, a day before Cardinals pitchers and catchers report. And, in the words of his pitching coach, he "looked great, doesn't he?" The 25-year-old catcher not only sports fresh ink on a four-year contract but also a slimmer, lighter build.

Reliever Ray King arrived in camp in the best shape of his life. He lost 23 pounds and hardly has a gut. King decided to stay away from junk food and sodas and start working out with son. He said instead of going to In-N-Out Burger, King ate salmon instead.

After playing at least 137 games for six straight years, Edmonds has been limited to 117 or fewer in each of the last two seasons because of injury. But Towers believes the 37-year-old Edmonds is capable of returning to form.

"When healthy, this guy is a very productive player," Towers said. "We certainly did our due diligence and talked to people who knew him. He said this is the best shape he's been in his career. He wants to play in 150 to 160 games."

"I've had a lot of time to think," Sanchez said Tuesday. "Last summer, all I could do was watch. I kept thinking, 'That should be me on TV. I have what it takes. Why waste it?' Wasting the year wasn't right. I feel I let everybody down -- my teammates, the manager, the coaches. Now I'm in the best shape of my life. I haven't looked like this since I was 19. Everybody can see it. I feel great. I'm ready to do whatever they want me to do."

There are 16....sorry....SIXTEEN more excerpts in Jeff's post. Hold on a second....Ray King doesn't have a gut anymore? Isn't that like Samson cutting his hair?