I wasn't going to say anything.

I was going to let this pass. But, this headline from the pros at MiLB.com has been bugging me and I really need to say something.

Dragons' Montano slays Kernels

In the book of headline cliches I keep near me at all times, Dragons do not slay. Dragons roast, toast, claw, or burn. Dragons are slain.

For example, in 2002, Greg Dobbs hit an extra-inning home run at Dayton. Acceptable headline:

Dobbs slays Dragons.

Now, in 2004, Michael Cox hit a grand slam in Cedar Rapids to help the team to a win. Unacceptable headline:

Cox slays Kernels.

Does anybody really slay a nibblet of corn? What size broadsword do you need for that?

Johnny Cueto tossed a rain-shortened no-hitter against the Rattlers a few years ago.

Cueto slays Rattlers. No. Cueto lays waste to Rattlers. Yes.

Look at this painting by Raphael of St. George and the Dragon.




Who is doing the slaying? Not the Dragon.

Not to say that Dragons can't slay something. They are near unstoppabe killing machines and if you really wanted to use another word for what Dragons can do, I guess slay would be acceptable. But, in the mythological context of my headline cliche book and in my world, Bandits Steal, Rattlers Strike, Hawks Swoop, Kernels Pop, Bees Sting, LumberKings Crown, Cougars Maul, Chiefs Extinguish, Snappers Bite, Wizards Cast a Spell, Whitecaps Crash, Loons Laugh, Lugnuts Turn, and Dragons get slain.

Just something I've been thinking about.