Introducing

Hi, Timber Rattler fans. My name is Carl, the Rain Hating Camel. I realize that hate is a four letter word that should never be used. But, in this case I think that we can make an exception.

Like you, I enjoy to take in a Timber Rattler game on Time Warner Cable Field at Fox Cities Stadium. But, not in the weather that you have been having in the Fox Cities. May I just say, "Blech."? I think that I will. "Blech!"

I'm a pretty easy-going camel. Need me to walk over 1,000 miles of desert with a heavy load on my back? No problem. Want me to give tourists three-hour rides around the pyramids? Easy as falafel. But, when it starts raining as much as it has lately, well, my unique eyelids begin to flutter and you had better stand back.

Bluntly, the weather right now deserves our hate, scorn, and derision.

Look, I don't need much water to survive because when the fat stored in my hump metabolizes, it becomes an energy source for me that acts like water. You need to drink water to survive, but I'm guessing that you are pretty sick of seeing it fall from the sky and wreck the start of my baseball season. Mine!!

The forecast ahead is, in a word -- "crummy". But, this dromedary has faith. To answer John Fogerty's existential question: Who'll stop the rain? I, Carl, the Rain Hating Camel, will.

And, if it doesn't stop, I will shake my hoof at the sky and like Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump I will scream, "Is that all you got?!?!" Because it stopped raining right after that in the movie.

You can thank me by coming out to a Timber Rattler game.