Here's a game for you today....

The Game Notes are below. See if you can find the entry that made the Prodigal Beat Writer respond with "Good Lord." and the Burlington radio announcer to exclaim, "Oh, no."

Give me about 10 minutes

The regular afternoon posts will be alone momentarily. I just need a few minutes. You see....

It was a TV taping day today for Timber Rattlers Field Pass.

Interviews with Jim Henderson and Steve Braun. Plus, I did a little bullpen session with Timber Rattlers pitching coach Chris Hook. My arm still hurts and yes, this is everything you thought it would be from a guy who hasn't thrown a pitch since Little League.

This show should air right around June 23 on Sports 32.

I'm getting that T-Shirt

Darren Rovell has a blog post about my White Whale. He went and upped the ante by calling it his Minor League Concession Item of the Year and added that it is the most caloric item ever offered at a ballpark...whatever that means.

The team says it feeds one to four people and sells for $20, and if a person finishes the Fifth Third Burger in one sitting, the team will offer up a Fifth Third Burger T-shirt.

Mickey Graham, the team's director of marketing and media relations, told us that they came up with this burger because it's something fun that people can understand.

Oh, I understand. I understand that it's going down.

The Whitecaps had better understand that my T-shirt size is XXL.

Oh, and this is supposed to scare me?!?!?!

Fifth Third Burger Nutritional Value

		DAILY VALUE
Calorie	4889	244%
Total Fat	299g	460%
Sat. Fat	199g	597%
Cholesterol	744mg	248%
Sodium	10,887mg	454%
Total Carbs	354g	118%
Protein	198g	105%

Game on.

This would be funnier if...

the Badgers had won yesterday.



I'm filing this under "New to me"

For the complete -- and by the complete, I mean the neverending version -- go here.

If I am feeling especially evil, I may make a push for this to be on the videoboard at some time this season. No explanation. Just this for an entire break between innings. The Snake ties it all in with the Timber Rattlers, no?

Oh, this is SO on...

Back when I first blogged about this, it was just a dream. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish... it was so fragile*.

But, thanks to Ben Hill of Ben's Biz Blog pointing out this news item from the West Michigan Whitecaps, I now have a goal.


Look out Fifth Third Burger. You and me are gonna dance.

*Not a real Marcus Aurelius Quote. That's from Gladiator. Here are a couple of quotes from the Roman Emperor/Philosopher that are a bit more appropriate to this situation:

A man's worth is no greater than his ambitions.

A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires.

I guess this means my worth is 5/3 pounds of grilled hamburger topped with lettuce, tomato, nacho cheese, chili, salsa and crunched tortilla chips. AND, I might add, an 8" sesame seed bun. BUT, there is no pickle and no spam as originally intended. I guess that's okay.

Not sure if this makes me noble or mean. I'll let you know during the Timber Rattler visit to West Michigan May 29-31.

28 dies insquequo Oris Dies!

No Effect

I thought about linking to a few stories about the 6" of snow...I repeat...6" of snow that fell yesterday.

I will not.

It's 70 and partly cloudy in my mind. The weather outside is does not bother me. The weather outside does not affect me.

31 dies insquequo Oris Dies!

Channeling

As I was driving home from the Oshkosh Business Expo last night, I began to have a few thoughts. It began when it took me about ten minutes to scrape the snow/ice hybrid off the car.

I take that back, it actually began during the Expo when I received a call to let me know that the Appleton East at Oshkosh North basketball game I was scheduled to work had been postponed. This was to be the last broadcast on TWC Sports 32. But, now we won't be doing the game.

After the car had been mostly cleared, I started on the trek home. What normally would have taken 20 minutes, took over an hour and 15 minutes.

The snow had finally gotten to me and as I pulled into the carport of the trailer, I began channeling a speech from an 80's movie with a few alterations.


I'm not going to stand up here and give you a lecture about the values of snow and the change of seasons. I just have two simple words for you: No More.

As long as I'm here, I can promise you one thing: That I will do everything in my power to enforce my painfully simple rule of NO MORE!

I know what you're thinking. You gotta live with me and I gotta live with you. Well, it will be a whole lot simpler if you all join with me and say:

NO MORE!

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go to the corner bar and build a pyramid out of shot glasses. Or go in to the ballpark and sell, sell, sell.

41 dies insquequo Oris Dies!