Brick says

Yeesh! That came out of nowhere.

I am Brick, the Bad Weather Hating Bactrian.

Rain. Lighting. Wind.

Check on all three at Time Warner Cable Field right now.

If I may be so blunt...this blows.

Telly wanted me to mention that the tarp is on the field.  But, Perry said that it was way, way, waaaaay to early for him to even think about saying anything.

So, you know that stupid poster with the cat that says Hang in There? I hate that poster. But, that is about the only advice that I can give right now.

Brick makes an appearance

Hi. I'm Brick, the Bad Weather Hating Bactrian.

In case you haven't noticed, the Rattlers have won four straight games.

I'm down here in Geneva, IL watching the team take batting practice. I am also watching a lot of lightning crashes around the ballpark. I am also hearing a lot of thunder rolls around the ball park.

I hate four things of the six things mentioned in that paragraph.

Batting practice = good.

Lightning crashes = bad.

Thunder rolls = bad

Lightning Crashes by Live = Bad

Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks = Bad

Geneva, IL = Apathy.

It's not raining at Elfstrom Stadium, but it looks like it all around the ballpark.

I hope that the bad weather stays away...Just like Garth Brooks has since that stupid Chris Gaines stunt.

Meet a couple members of the cast

Many of you regular readers know these guys. Consider this an introduction for the new people.

This is Carl, the rain-hating camel.


This is Brick, the bad weather hating bactrian


This is Telemachus, the tarping tapir.


This is Fairfax, the field conditions ferrett.


They haven't been around much and -- to tell the truth -- they really don't want to be around that much.

But, right now, it's raining, the tarp is on the field, and the field is pretty wet. Brick is around to try to keep those thunderstorms away.

Fan Fest is still on for a noon start. Stay tuned either here or to http://www.twitter.com/timberrattlers for updates.

For you new readers, consider these guys as a code. The readers who have been around for awhile already know this, but click your and drag your cursor from left to right on the space below to find out the secret behind the secret to the code.


Mehring is crazy.

July 28, 2009: Weather Update

The tarp is on the field. The tarp is on the field.

This is Telemachus the Tarping Tapir and reporting from Fort Wayne, the tarp is on the field!


And I am Carl the Rain Hating Camel to report that it is now raining in Fort Wayne. I hate that. I know that both teams could use the day off today. The Rattlers arrived in Fort Wayne at 4:30am and the TinCaps arrived from Burlington at 7:00am.

But, with an 11am game tomorrow and a night game on Thursday, a doubleheader just just doesn't fit into the equation.


Brick the Bad Weather Hating Bactrian here. Just heard some thunder and saw some lightning. "They" are calling for this tonight. I hate "them" and I hate "this". Hope is for losers like Carl up there, but to borrow a phrase from him, I hope this moves through in a &*#%$! hurry. Okay. I may have added that &*#%$! to his phrase.

Stay tuned.

Rain Delay Theater -- June 19, 2009

Hi. Brick, here. Bad weather is coming. I can feel it in my humps. It's going to be bad and we may be in for a long night. The Cougars have a big crowd rolling into the stadium. Plus, they are in a playoff hunt and do not want a doubleheader tomorrow. If there is one thing that I hate as much as bad weather, it would be waiting. But, Brick the wait hating bactrian just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Brick is right! The tarp is on the field but it isn't raining...yet. But, when it does, you'll all be glad that the tarp is on the field. Go look for yourselves.

In the interim, enjoy the rich cheesey goodness of this baseball themed Remington Steele episode with the tasty Stephanie Zimbalist from the files of Hulu.

Blech!

Stupid weather. Stupid, stupid weather. Dumb rain. Dumb, stupid idiot cold weather. Brick was really looking forward to some baseball and some STAR WARS.

This is what I get instead:



Kinda cool, but not really the same.

Look, the team will be wearing the STAR WARS jerseys tomorrow for game one and the Brewers themed jerseys in game two. Game one starts at 1:05pm.

In case you were wondering about the auction for the MAKE-A-WISH FOUNDATION of Wisconsin, all of the STAR WARS jerseys will be available in an on-line auction that will start later this month through the Rattlers home page.

Even Brick can't hate that...and Brick hates that. But not as much as this stupid, dumb, jerkface rain.

Brick out!

Brick checks in

Rain last night. Not good. Rain today. Not good. Rain, wind, and severe thunderstorms forecast for tonight...Well, that's a bit much for Brick.

Brick's therapist...yes, camels can have therapists...thinks that it is best to focus my rage at the weather, meteorologists, slow service at a restaurant, cable channels that don't work in hotels, PA announcers that give the wrong time to start games, vending machines that are only on the first floor of a hotel, ...

Sorry, where was Brick? Focus! Right! It is best to focus my rage into the ancient Japanese art of Haiku. So,

Hard rain falls today.
Green on radar is a shade,
That brings great anger.

or

Doubleheader on schedule.
Ugly forecast threatens all.
Roudha, this sure blows.

or

Raindrops keep falling
on my humps and they are wet.
Who will stop the rain?

or

Will we play today?
There is always this thing, hope
Hope in one hand and cra....

Greetings, Rattler fans. Carl, the rain-hating camel here. Brick was getting a little...let's just say too much. Stay tuned to Rattler Radio for updates on the weather and the status of the games today. The team will be at the ballpark around 2:15pm and the first game is scheduled for 5:35pm.

Oh, and Mehring wanted me to pass along some actual news.

The Rattlers will be staying on rotation if we play today. That means:

Efrain Nieves and Cody Scarpetta in game one. Trey Watten in game two.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go get some microwavve popcorn for Brick. That is one of the few things that actually calms him down.

Well

Yeargh! Carl thought it would be a good idea for me to leave the bar...um, stop playing wii Tennis and show up for a post.

Look, the sun is out right now. It may be out later. It may not. Do I look like a weatherman? No! I'm just a simple dromedary that likes...I, mean tolerates the occasional baseball game.

I'm just here because the possibility for some bad weather exists. Mehring has this irrational superstition that if I post something, the rain will magically turn into lollipops and unicorns. Then, he won't have to work a doubleheader tomorrow.

I hate superstitions, too. But, that's a whole other topic.

I'm Brick. I approved this message.

Brick

Rrrrrrrr. Rrrrrrrrr. To learn more about Brick, the bad-weather hating bactrian, click here.

A sincere thank you

Good afternoon. My name is Brick. I was all set to do a guest post today and it wasn't going to be one of those hearts and flowers, yippee, baseball season is almost here kind of posts. Nope. It was going to be a bitter, cynical, angry post...You know...my usual. The reason? It was supposed to snow last night. It was supposed to snow a lot...a lot.

But, it didn't. Or -- if it did -- it didn't stick.

It's almost an Opening Day miracle.

So, thank you.

Guest blogger (2/22)

Hey. I'm Brick. Brick, the Bad Weather Hating Bactrian. Mehring had to duck out to get ready for Mass and he's also "geeked up" about dueling marathons of MacGyver and NCIS.

And if any of you have ever seen Mehring "geeked up" you know that nothing intelligent will be typed or spoken by him for another couple of days.

So, I'm just popping in here to point out that weather lately...to put not too fine a point on it...has sucked.

Snow and cold yesterday.

High of 21 with flurries today.

High of 22 tomorrow.

The 10-day forecast has one day with temperatures above 32 degrees.

This sucks.

And it had better turn around soon or -- by Roudha -- I'll do something drastic.

46 dies insquequo Oris Dies

This World Series is cursed

Hey. I'm Brick, the Bad Weather Hating Bactrian. Mehring imagined....er, asked me to blog a few times early this season when is snowed in April.

I hate everything. Puppies, laughter of children, balloons, that person who takes 11 items through the 10 items or less checkout line. Yep, contempt and dislike for them all. But, I mostly hate bad weather. Like the stuff that is going on in Philadelphia right now.

Game Four was suspended after 5-1/2 innings with the Phillies and Rays tied 2-2. If the Phillies win the final 3-1/2 innings they are World Series Champions. If the Rays win the last 3-1/2 innings, there is a Game Six in Tampa tomorrow. Good thing they started that game at "8:00"pm in the East last night. Incorrect start times? Yep, I hate those, too.

Why would they suspend a World Series game?

Yeah. Seemed like the thing to do. Credit? Whatever. Photo swiped from Philly.com and Steven M. Falk.

So, what does the forecast look like for tonight in Philly?

8pm Showers / Wind 40°F 29°F 50% 32°F 73% From WNW 25 mph

9pm Showers / Wind 40°F 30°F 40% 32°F 73% From W 24 mph

10pm Few Showers / Wind 40°F 30°F 30% 31°F 70% From W 23 mph

11pm Few Showers / Wind 40°F 30°F 30% 31°F 70% From W 22 mph

Oh, that seems promising. If the weather doesn't break, maybe they should move the last 3-1/2 innings to Miller Park.

He's here

Mehring is just sending Brick out here to try to make it seem like he's been busy doing other things.

Brick knows that he's been sitting around watching the British Open. Get to work, Mehring. Brick also is out here to make sure that the rain stays away one more day.

Brick doesn't quite know how to say this, but Carl has done a heck of a job the last few days keeping the rain away so the games could be played.

Don't tell him Brick said that.

This bites

Hey, Brick here. Bad weather. Brick post. Blah, blah, blah. Brick hates bad weather. Brick wants to smash something breakable. Brick swears, by the camel god Roudha, this has become cliche.

First things first. Mehring has been playing catch up with a few things and was unable to get to, well frankly, much of anything this morning. There is a hope for baseball once this line of weather moves through.

There is a line of thinking that bugs Brick. "I hope this happens, then this will happen."

Let Brick tell you something from Brick's Book of Personal Philosophy: Anytime hope is part of a plan, you are basically screwed. Because you may as well hope that pixies will come along with a bag of magic.....

Greetings, gentle readers. Carl, the rain-hating camel, here. Don't worry about Brick. Brick certainly never worries about Brick. Remember, there is always another oasis on the horizon. You just have to keep going until you make it to the next one.

What a load of cr....



SILENCE!

Sorry about that, folks. Brick does tend to get on one's nerves, no? Anyway. I'm off to sacrifice to Roudha. Sometimes you just need to make your own hope.

You didn't try hard enough

Good Lord, does Carl get on my nerves. As a wise little puppet once said: Do or do not. There is no try.

Stupid rain isn't going to stop. The games today have been canceled. The suspended game will be like it never happened. Like a lot of other things in Brick's life on the steppes...but that's a whole other area.

Brick can't wait to get to Burlington and Clinton.

Brick takes a stab at Haiku...again

Rain, rain, stay away
Come again another day
Or else...Brick hurts you.

PLAY BALL!

Brick is back

Hey. Mehring wanted to apologize for not updating the site until now, but he doesn't do that very often. He said something about Brick needs to learn to apologize more than Mehring does. Brick thinks Mehring is an idiot.

Brick thinks the main thing to do here is to keep the stormy weather away for the weekend.

Brick wishes that Mehring could just come out and say what he's thinking.

Anyway, Mehring will be along in a bit with the day of posting.

Point-Counterpoint with Camels

Rattler Radio begins a new feature today. Our very own meteorological ungulates have been asked to take opposite sides in a completely contrived topic that may or may not be of interest to anyone. Facts are not welcome here.

Today's topic: Apples vs. Oranges

A+ for Apples by Carl, the Rain-Hating Camel

Greetings, Rattler Radio readers. There is nothing I like more that sinking my teeth into a nice, crunchy -- yet, juicy -- apple. It doesn't matter if it's a Red Delicious, McIntosh, Gala, Cortland, Granny Smith, Golden Delicious, or any of the other amazing varieties of that sweet fruit. Turn me loose in an orchard any day of the week and twice on Wednesday. Apples are good tasting and good for you.

Oranges? Don't make me laugh. Ever hear of Mom's Home-made Orange Pie? What kind of America Hater doesn't like Apple Pie? Brick, that's who.

Orange Juice? Blech. There is more pulp in a paper mill than in a glass of that stuff. Now, a good glass of Apple Juice. Refreshing.

Orange Peels? Nothing like making it almost impossible to get to the actual edible part of the fruit. Apples? Ready to eat right off the tree.

Apples are also a food of the people. Johnny Appleseed made his way throughout the Midwest planting Apple trees wherever he went. Orange groves are off in some distant location on the fringes of the country. You may as well get a banana.

It's not 'An orange a day' that keeps the doctor away. Apples help you live longer. Oranges will kill you. It's not me saying this...It's science!

In closing, no child ever presented a teacher with an orange. Think of the children, they could teach us a few things about life and the proper selection of a terrific


Orange You Glad for Oranges by Brick the Bad Weather-Hating Bactrian

Has there ever been a more perfect delivery system of Vitamin C than the Orange? Brick didn't think so.

Apples are, quite simply, evil. What fruit did the serpent get Adam and Eve to eat in the Garden of Eden? Kiwi? Peach? No, it started with an 'A'...Avocado? No! Wait! Apple! That's it! And you remember who the serpent was?....That's right...The Devil. Enjoy the official fruit of Hell, Carl.

You can count on Brick's humps the number of things that Brick likes, but the clean, citrusy smell of an orange is one of those things.

And what's wrong with a little work to get at something as tasty as an Orange? Nothing. Plus, try this little experiment. If you can stomach it, take a few bites out of an apple. Then, peel an orange and have a few slices, if you can stop at a few. Walk away and come back in a few minutes. Which one of those fruits is starting to turn a little brown? That's right. The devil's fruit.

Apples corrupt the young. Children use Apples as a gift for teachers? Try Bribe for the teacher and you'll be a little closer to the truth.

Speaking of truth, the only time an apple is somewhat good is when it is not in its original form. Coated in caramel, baked in a pie, squashed into juice, or mixed into a butter. Somewhat palatable, yet, still from the same evil produce.

One orange and all its vitamin goodness have done more to combat disease and starvation than the demon red fruit.

In closing, Apples, bad. Oranges, good.

Thank you, Carl. Thank you, Brick. Insightful and vengeful points all around.

Oddly, as video proof of both their points of view, Carl and Brick both submitted this 1975 Sunkist orange television commercial.



Tune in next time for another edition of Point-Counterpoint with Camels.

Brick takes a stab at Haiku

I don't know why Carl and Mehring asked me to try this. I hate poetry almost as much as I hate bad weather. But, apparently, my defeat of Captain Cold yesterday allowed the Rattlers to get both games in yesterday.

Not that anyone is superstitious over here or anything. I hate superstition (not the Steve Wonder song. That wrocks) almost as much as I hate bad weather.

Anyway here I go:

Winter's chill lingers
But the sun is out for now
baseball game today

Not terrible.

Who's going to stop me?

The Flash has been defeated!
Who can stop Captain Cold and get these games in today?

I will, you frozen freak!
Brick, the Bad-weather hating Bactrian has
two humps full of justice for you!
And my friend, Mr. Cub, is with me on this. Right, Ernie!

LET'S PLAY TWO TODAY!