If I were...

This is not a Rattler related or even a baseball related article, but when I saw the story about Lance Armstrong in USA Today this morning there was a need to say something.

So, I begin a series of posts that I will call If I were...

Today, If I were Lance Armstrong, I would react to this:

An investigation launched by the international cycling federation has cleared Lance Armstrong of accusations he used the performance-enhancing drug EPO in the 1999 Tour de France.

Dutch attorney Emile N. Vrijman led the investigation at the request of the Union Cycliste Internationale, the sport's governing body responsible for disciplinary action. His 130-page report also raises the issue of misconduct and collusion among the World Doping Agency, a
French lab and L'Equipe, the Paris-based newspaper that broke the story in August 2005.

The report said WADA, the lab and the French Ministry of Sport should be investigated by legal authorities and forced to produce documents the groups refused to present to the Vrijman probe.

and this:

The French sports newspaper that accused Lance Armstrong of doping stood by its reporting Thursday, a day after an investigator cleared the seven-time Tour de France champion.

"There is nothing to retract from the revelations," L'Equipe said in an editorial that concluded: "For our part, we remain convinced of the need to battle without compromise against the mafialike tendencies that
still and always threaten the sport of cycling. Both in the method and the substance, L'Equipe stands firm."

Like this:

That whole retirement thing. Forget it. I'm going to race this year with no training, beat the crap out of you, and win number 8. How do you like that, Nancy?

I'm not Lance Armstrong. I can barely ride thirty minutes on a stationary bike and I'll never have a shot at Sheryl Crow. But, that's what I'd do if I were Lance Armstrong.